No Touch Monkey!

Newsweek Poll:

Nearly half (48 percent) of the public rejects the scientific theory of evolution; one-third (34 percent) of college graduates say they accept the Biblical account of creation as fact. Seventy-three percent of Evangelical Protestants say they believe that God created humans in their present form within the last 10,000 years; 39 percent of non-Evangelical Protestants and 41 percent of Catholics agree with that view

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via-Slashdot

D_ is a kid who attends workshops at the non-profit I had been working for. Aside: we were cleared by the state and resumed classes this week, and while I had quit, I was a guest driver this week.

D_ is a virtual shut in because he lives in a bad neighborhood. He comes home from school and doesn't leave the house until school the next day because his mom keeps him in.

D_ is 12, does not have cable television, nor Internet, but what he does have is A LOT of questions:

Did you hear anything about the MARS company? There are rat poo in M & Ms.

Do you believe in Aliens? What does it mean to get "probed"?

What is politics?

What is the Da Vinci Code? What does the Mona Lisa have to do with it?

Why are there so many different religions?

Does the universe end or keep going?

Where do tornadoes come from?

What's it like to live in the county (as opposed to the city. Which while his street may be "bad" it's only a fraction of some of the other neighborhoods where our kids live).

Anyway, since it was my last trip with him on Thursday, I pulled together a large assortment of awesome books to give him:

The Handy Science Answer Book

The Handy History Answer Book

Encyclopedia of Things That Never Were: Creatures, Places, and People (my own treasured copy)

Universe (5.99 paperback filled with beautiful images)

and The Big Book of Urban Legends (The Big book Series)

10th Anniversary Calvin and Hobbes

A pop up book of Leonardo Da Vinci

And some cool book by Wired about future technology.

All of these books are designed to be flipped through and perused at random, perfect for a kid with lots of questions who doesn't really like reading.

I really hope he enjoys these half as much as I enjoyed giving them to him.

Labels: meatspace, Media

It must be deflating when your best isn't good enough...

Just ask Zoidberg

Labels: Ahahahahaha, Hot Cha Cha Cha Cha, Worth your time

Vibramfivefingers



I'm always on the look out for a comfy shoe to cradle my dogs. One day when I just have some disposable income...

An environmental group said Tuesday it had captured a "monster" toad the size of a small dog.

With a body the size of a football and weighing nearly 2 pounds, the toad is among the largest specimens ever captured in Australia, according to Frogwatch coordinator Graeme Sawyer.

"It's huge, to put it mildly," he said. "The biggest toads are usually females but this one was a rampant male ... I would hate to meet his big sister."

Frogwatch, which is dedicated to wiping out a toxic toad species that has killed countless Australian animals, picked up the 15-inch-long cane toad during a raid on a pond outside the northern city of Darwin late Monday.

Cane toads were imported from South America during the 1930s in a failed attempt to control beetles on Australia's northern sugar cane plantations. The poisonous toads have proven fatal to Australia's delicate ecosystems, killing millions of native animals from snakes to the small crocodiles that eat them.

As part of its so-called "Toad Buster" project, Frogwatch conducts regular raids on local water holes, blinding the toads with bright lights then scooping them up by the dozen.

"We kill them with carbon dioxide gas, stockpile them in a big freezer and then put them through a liquid fertilizer process" that renders the toads nontoxic, Sawyer said.

"It turns out to be sensational fertilizer," he added.

Media-Plural of medium, a means of communication. The definition will used very loosely if completely incorrectly.

The Prestige, the movie. Directed by Christopher Nolan, starring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman. A pretty damn cool movie, much better than The Illusionist. Two illusionists (no relation) do battle over fame and fortune at the end of the 19th Century. Both characters are pretty unsympathetic, so I don't care who the winner was, but ending (though telegraphed) was neat. A solid B for effort.

The Prestige, the book by Greg Priest. The book came first, so you know it was better. Well written and told in diary form to the great-grand son and daughter of battling illusionists. Of course, the characters and their motives for besting each other are really nailed down, as well as their distinct personalities and character flaws. Although I knew the ending of the movie (and sneaked a peek at the ending of the book at Borders), the book still maintained my level of surprise right up until the end. A-/B+.

Battlestar Galactica, Season 3 Finale: Unfortunately I read the spoilers because it sounded just too frakin' unbelievable, but turned out to be true. Post no spoilers in the comments as Crazy Legs Dave hasn't watched it yet. I was still extremely pleased, and think waiting until Jan. 2008 is out of control but I'm expecting a quality product by then.B+. Season 2 and 2.5 finales A+

Allergy Shots, the medium of allergy control: I'm all for it, and just began to take them for the cats and the Great Out Doors, but rumors from a friend who had done it 15 years ago and left him worse off have left me questioning it. C

Baby Bunnys, awwwwww: Alessandra was cleaning the yard and fucked up their nest leaving them orphans. Luckily, our neighbors are willing to wake up every 3 hours and feed them puppy formula and hopefully nurse them back to health (they have bunny experience). A for cute D+/C- survivability.

Reality TV specifically Dancing with Stars, American Idol: I hate you for sucking me in while I practice guitar and spend time with my Sweety. You, you're producers and judges, contestants and sponsors will all burn in HELL.F.

Brazilian Soap Operas: As muleres estao mution gostoso A-

Cell Phones: Will I ever get a good signal? D unless there is an emergency and the phone is charged and I get through then it gets an A.

A cat in a turtleneck sweater: A+

Crocs: the medium of communication between foot and earth. Much ridiculed by myself (Style King) until actually placed on my feet. A happy foot is a happy Cap'n. 'Nuff said. A

Sleep, the medium of dreams and imagination. A++ when done right.

Labels: Media, Stuff, Too Much Information

By now, you should know that me, Cap'n Marrrrk is Hypermediated. Sometimes I feel like Mr. Universe in the movie Serenity, but that's just a character, and it's totally impossible to know then entire MediaSphere.

Case in point, last night, Friday Night...I was working on some freelance that finally came my way, Ale was knitting, and we had the tube on as background. VH1 was showing "The 40 Biggest Internet Superstars of All Time." It kind of weirded me out. No, not kind of, definitely weirded me out. Why? Because of the 40, I'd only heard of a handful. If they are so fucking big, why haven't I heard of them?

Then I realized that what they are "Superstars" of is pretty fucking stupid. With the exception of the OK Go treadmill video (which I had heard of, and dug the song), most people were just sort of dumb ass little viral YouTube clip, which contained some sort of mystery charm. Yet they are granted Superstar status by the fact that millions of people have watched their clip, most of which contained very much less setup than the Mentos Diet Coke guys (which I've seen but only once).

Equally weird, was that as VH1 interviewed these Superstars (who the fuck is Tia Tiquilla? Do I care enough to even spell her name right?), who all know of their brethren Superstars and are expected to comment on them.

It was a Circle Jerk of enormous proportions, on that speaks of fame as being far less than 15 minutes, as striking anyone, anywhere, at any time of a quality that falls far, far FAR short of comedic standards that are required to make me laugh or even gain my attention. Lip Synchers, Baby Dancers, Bogus Cam Girls, Alien-looking Hoochies, Old Man Ranters, Child Guidos and the rest you losers, get the fuck out.

Bring me some quality entertainment. I really haven't got all fucking day.

Labels: bullshit, HyperMedia, The Man

Alessandra wants a small dog to carry around with her, but we cannot afford one right now, or she's not looking hard enough, or the right one didn't come along...or something... So instead she bought some dog sweaters that were on sale and put them on Lola. A great big laugh from us ensued, as well as some photos that can be found here.

Labels: Ahahahahaha, Cats, Wife

My friend who comments here, "Crazy Legs Dave" has a coworker who does this. In an amusing anecdote, he tells the story of a guy coming to work for a conservative company with a desire to be Spider Man. Quite the worthy dream, excepting the fact that radioactive spiders are likely to give you cancer. I wanted to be Captain America, not because of the patriot thing, but because he was super fit and could bonk the crap outta people with his shield. I also dug his swashbuckling boots, but that's another story. Anyway, Parkour wasn't around at the time, oh and I was lazy and out of shape...so I never became a superhero.

I think the Parkour is pretty damn cool. It's like hard-core exercise for nerds.

After the event.

Today is Wed. I've been officially unemployed for 3 days. I'm networking, making calls, sending out resumes and going on interviews. It's very difficult for me to ask people for things (like a job0 and it's a slow process, so any job related thing I can do in a day I consider a victory.

I got out of the non-profit just in time. Our population is one of "troubled youth", "youth at risk", etc. So when a kid gets in trouble at his facility and starts throwing stories, someone (State, County, Courts) is going to shut you down while they investigate. It's been two weeks without programming, and while it looks like we (I still consider myself a part of it) will be exonerated because we have the paperwork our paper work in order, it's still a hairy time there.

Other stuff is going on, but I'm thrilled beyond words Daylight Savings Time is here, and today was gorgeous and smelled Springy.

Labels: meatspace, work

I think my head exploded.

"A British Airways passenger was refused compensation and told by the airline to 'get over it' after a corpse was placed in the row where he was sitting last week.

Paul Trinder, 54, a businessman from Brackley, Northamptonshire, spent more than �3,000 for a first-class ticket from Delhi. He awoke during the flight to find that cabin staff were propping up a dead woman almost next to him. 'The stewards just plonked down this body without saying a thing,' he said. 'I remember looking at this thin, sparrow-like woman and thinking she was very ill.'"

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Me, with a wooley hat because it's chilly in my house. Too bad I didn't think of this years ago. I am so toasty.

Labels: The Cap'n

300 glistening, oiled pecs in leather diapers, including Faramir. I haven't seen anything much gay since The Velvet Goldmine.

Alessandra purrs for Rodrigo Santoro. We are looking forward to his flashback on LOST.

"Roughne...Spartans!"

"WOOF!"

Really, just fantatsic. If it were mine, the audio would be filled with me laughing maniacally.

Labels: Ahahahahaha, Worth your time

"There were 3 booms, the plane shook and I saw sparks coming out of the engine. The lights went out, and everyone was deathly quiety. Then we all started praying."

Alessandra's mom called us last night in tears after her plane to Brazil was forced to turn around and make an emergency landing shortly after take off.

Geese in the engine.

As you can see: Brazil-bound plane returns to O'Hare | Chicago Tribune, the airline didn't make a big deal out of it, but Anabela is terrified about getting back on a plane.

This is the second near air disaster this year for someone we know. Our friend Dr. Woensdag (and fetus) were nearly in a midair collision back in January.

Alessandra hates flying, I like it because it's a sense of adventure (I rarely get to go anywhere), but her fear of it is starting to wear through my rosy glow. Oh yeah, and this scene from LOST is really going to help both of us.

Edit: Now with Video!


Is that totally panic inducing or what? I'm sure I'd shit myself. And it's worse that she's traveling alone.

At least it wasn't an intergalactic bounty hunter being sucked into the engine.

Labels: family, Holy Shit

"A wookie, who presents with symptoms of watery diarrhea (at least 5-10 watery stools per day), moderate to high fever, loss of appetite, nausea and abdominal pain. Sigmoidoscopic plaque-like pseudomembranes, scattered over the colic tissue."

Posh Spice diagnosis to the rescue.

Via University of Michigan College of Pharmacy.

Life is moving along, but unfortunately I'm currently not at liberty to reveal Jackshit about the current doings for a while, so I'll just be posting things I find interesting.

Labels: Nothing to see here folks-move along, Only Human, personal, Stuff, stupid-people

I Used To Believe is a funny and bizarre collection of ideas that adults thought were true when they were children. It will remind you what it was like to be a child, fascinated and horrified by the world in equal parts.

We had an awesome Open House yesterday. 39 guests, lots of cake and Hokey Pokey!

I love you very much.

Set Daily Puzzle

Quiddler Daily Puzzle

I do these daily to keep the brain sharp.

.:Instant Kama Sutra:. a Flash game where you create your own positions

SFW if you live in Europe. It's actually quite tame, but still this IS America (Prudetopia)

"Professor Peter Rogers, a biological psychologist who led the research, told the BBC: 'We do feel a boost from caffeine in the morning, but that's probably due to a reversal of the withdrawal symptoms.

'That alertness you feel is you getting back to normal, rather than to an above normal level.

'That morning boost is what people think is useful about caffeine, but if that doesn't happen, maybe it's not that useful after all.'"

More

via KurzweilAI.net

Immediately after publishing the last post, I found this link without even trying for a quick before bed smile.

Labels: Jim Henson Studios

I won't go into the details, but I learned the hard way today that I'm in good cardiac health. The job situation that I'm trying to change is beginning to take it's toll...or has been and now it's revealing itself.

Just to let you know where I am...I scored a 339 which puts me at risk of a stress-related illness. Wheeeee!

The Road to Well-Being — Life Stressors

On the plus side, I did send out several querries today.

Big Music is about to put the final nail in the Internet Radio Coffin. Help stop the RIAA.

I listen to Radio Paradise daily. I hear stuff I don't hear on commerical radio and they have a fantastic set list.

Take action now.

Naughty Super Bowl Sparks Beefs To FCC

It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his siluette while his guitar showed a very phalic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.

Spelling kept intact.

Oprah's ugly secret | Salon Life: "By continuing to hawk 'The Secret,' a mishmash of offensive self-help cliches, Oprah Winfrey is squandering her goodwill and influence, and preaching to the world that mammon is queen."

If you put that routine between hard covers, you'd have "The Secret," the self-help manifesto and bottle of minty-fresh snake oil currently topping the bestseller lists. "The Secret" espouses a "philosophy" patched together by an Australian talk-show producer named Rhonda Byrne. Though "The Secret" unabashedly appropriates and mishmashes familiar self-help clichés, it was still the subject of two recent episodes of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" featuring a dream team of self-help gurus, all of whom contributed to the project.

The main idea of "The Secret" is that people need only visualize what they want in order to get it -- and the book certainly has created instant wealth, at least for Rhonda Byrne and her partners-in-con. And the marketing idea behind it -- the enlisting of that dream team, in what is essentially a massive, cross-promotional pyramid scheme -- is brilliant. But what really makes "The Secret" more than a variation on an old theme is the involvement of Oprah Winfrey, who lends the whole enterprise more prestige, and, because of that prestige, more venality, than any previous self-help scam. Oprah hasn't just endorsed "The Secret"; she's championed it, put herself at the apex of its pyramid, and helped create a symbiotic economy of New Age quacks that almost puts OPEC to shame.

Why "venality"? Because, with survivors of Auschwitz still alive, Oprah writes this about "The Secret" on her Web site, "the energy you put into the world -- both good and bad -- is exactly what comes back to you. This means you create the circumstances of your life with the choices you make every day." "Venality," because Oprah, in the age of AIDS, is advertising a book that says, "You cannot 'catch' anything unless you think you can, and thinking you can is inviting it to you with your thought." "Venality," because Oprah, from a studio within walking distance of Chicago's notorious Cabrini Green Projects, pitches a book that says, "The only reason any person does not have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts." More

I remember when I used to believe this shit with all my heart, but then I discovered that it doesn't work and it's a bunch of crap. I was happier then, and I am not now, but I think I'm better off.

Labels: balloon popping, bullshit, stupid-people, The Man

Stephen Colbert, a faux conservative who often honors himself on his Comedy Central show, was lauded by the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival as their "Person of the Year."

"What an honor. An honor to receive and an honor for you to give to me," Colbert said during the ceremony late Friday.

Often appearing to be a combination of Bill O'Reilly and Archie Bunker, Colbert emphasized that his television character is not him.

"He's not malicious, he's ill-informed, you know. It's just a product of his own education. And he thinks he's saying and doing the right thing, he's not actually trying to hurt anybody," said Colbert.

Colbert said he is writing a book.

It will be "what is best and what's worst about America," he said. "You know, it's 20 subjects ... all of the important things, the culture war, religion, hygiene, sports."

Colbert said he envisions his character preparing for each night's show by singing along with the Cheap Trick song "I Want You to Want Me," and doing a full-body shave.

"I never in a million years imagined that a character who was essentially based on O'Reilly a year and a half ago" would have this honor, Colbert said, and suggested he'll get weeks worth of content out of the Aspen honor.

Report: 'only a matter of time' before whale kills a trainer - Los Angeles Times

From the Article:

SAN DIEGO -- Although SeaWorld Adventure Park has done a good job of preparing its trainers to work with killer whales, it is "only a matter of time" before a whale kills one, state investigators have concluded after examining a November incident in which a trainer was dragged under water and nearly drowned.

"The trainers recognize this risk and train not for 'if' an attack will happen but 'when,' " says a report by the state Department of Industrial Relations' Division of Occupational Safety and Health.

But the report also warned that SeaWorld should be ready to use lethal force against a killer whale if it endangers a trainer by becoming "out of control and not responding to other available control measures."

"They (the whales) are a danger to humans by virtue of their size alone," the report concludes. "Second, they are a carnivore. They are armed with an impressive arsenal of teeth, capable of tearing bone and flesh."

The whales are also smart and capable of "cunning and forethought."

["And probably more than half mad from their captivity here"-Cap'n]

SeaWorld has seven killer whales; during the height of the summer tourist season there are often six to seven shows a day at Shamu Stadium.

See also:
The Memory Hole > A Whale Bleeds to Death at Sea World
(gross pic)

I was transporting a black 17 year old, unwed mother last night to a meeting. She used to live in the county, but now lives in the city where she says she can't walk down the street (7 months pregnant) without constantly getting hit on.

"I don't want Blacks as friends, they just all want to be gangstas. I picture myself surrounded by a group of white friends. I want white friends who want to do something with their lives."

Lovely (and lonely) girl with great drive to remain in a positive environment.

Still, I could claim her generalizations are a result of time spent in the mediasphere, or the result of the broad generalizations we create about everyone we meet, but it is most shocking to hear someone say something like that. It opens up a HUGE number of issues that force one to look at their own prejudices as well as causes one to think about the whole concept of being prejudiced about one's own race.

Labels: WTF