No Touch Monkey!

When I posted this link last week about Scrooge McDuck, I remembered that there was an actual comic run called Amazon.com: The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. So I set out for the Library to read it.

Boy Howdy, what a Freaked Out Trip this book is! It's the story of Scrooge going from penniless boy in Scotland to becoming the Richest Duck in the World. His globe spanning take him through the great American Boom of the late 19th and Early 20th centuries as well as to the North Pole, the Titanic, Australia and Africa...Classic American Dream (though he is a stingy bastard).

Surreal, comical and heartfelt this book has it all. Scrooge rides Moose and Lions as mounts, he is chased around the world by a zombie, he gains family, loses family, and meets famous historical figures, and of course wallows around in his cash. It's great fun all around.



You can pick up a copy for the price of 5 bucks at Amazon, and you should because it's great fun.

NC-17 This comic contains nudity, cartoon sex, and historical factoids which might be considered blasphemous to certain religions. If such things disturb you, you probably shouldn't read this.

Shall We Continue?

I've posted this link every year since I started NTM, but much to my disappointment the e-sheep domain is no longer active.

Luckily for us though The Interweb Remembers Everything, so sit down boys and girls and learn the real meaning of Christmas.

Labels: Comics, Story Telling, Taboo, Worth your time

Alessandra just joined a Knitting Social Network and entered Firefly Friends group and here are a couple of pictures she sent me yesterday.





by Becca Compton

The local knitting group met at our house on Wed and one of the women was knitting a tiny nosewarmer which is actually going to be a hat for a hamster!

Those knitters sure are highlarious.

Nude Yoga Photo Blog

I'm doing a lot of drawing, and I need active poses, so here ya go.

Labels: Vavavoom

This year I'm celebrating Wookie Life Day!

Was the idea to promote inappropriate laughter? Wife and I laughed our asses off, but still, was this supposed to be planned?

Check out this really cool free-floating 3d display from

ViZoo

Good News Everyone!



We're Back!



Futurama - Bender's Big Score

Get all your Futurama Sounds HERE

Labels: Bite my shiny metal ass

Today is our second annual Lord of the Rings Marathon. It seems like just yesterday, and not a year ago that we watched these movies. Maybe because we've watched them 2 or 3 times each as they all came out. Still though, today is going to be an excellent day.

I was at Sam's Club picking up stuff for my Mother In Law the other day when I saw this:


Yard-O-Beef, great name, but unfortunately it's only a 1 1/2' long! There is no Yard-O-Beef.

Now the interesting thing is that it weighs 3 lbs, and Sams on line calls it "Hillshire Farm 3LB Yard-O-Beef".

Someone, somewhere is trying to sell a unit of length based on unit of weight.

I hate to say it, but I am indeed petty enough to be peeved by that.

Nestling in the foothills of the Alps in northern Italy, 30 miles from the ancient city of Turin, lies the valley of Valchiusella. Peppered with medieval villages, the hillside scenery is certainly picturesque. But it is deep underground, buried into the ancient rock, that the region's greatest wonders are concealed.

Underneath this house:













Ale was in Turin a few years ago. She's gonna be pissed she missed this.

Story

Labels: Whoa

Its a holiday weekend and everyone is busy, as are our friends who are willing to inject our diabetic cat Xuxa with med. So we decided to pack her up in her crate and drive 3 hrs (one way) to our in-laws house. To keep her company while she's locked up in the guest room, we also brought Lola.

More as it develops.

Also a special shout out to Crazy Legs Dave who got engaged to his girlfriend last weekend.

New Box set comes with Parental Warnings that this is for adults only because the "muppets model behavior inappropriate by today's standards."

Whaaaaa?!

I'm gonna have to refer this matter to George Carlin

I mean I watched this shit, it didn't make me maladjust...oh.

"The room was dark, but for a single light shining directly on suspected traitor London Donson.

'London,' an interrogator intoned from the darkness. 'Who is Chastity Rice?'
'I'm not saying,' Donson replied, defiant.

'There's no escaping this,' a voice said from the darkness. And another: 'This is Room 101.'

The ultimate torture room. The place, Oceania. The suspected crimes, treason and conspiracy against Big Brother. The year, 1984.

Or was it?

In truth, Room 101 is a conference room at Sacramento New Technology High School; the 'crime,' learning. The date, Friday.

Seniors here had been immersing themselves for three weeks in a make-believe world meant to simulate the conditions of George Orwell's legendary book, '1984.' Written in 1948, the novel is a futuristic glimpse at a totalitarian society that Orwell set in 1984.

English teacher Jennifer Kennedy (aka Big Sister Kennedy) and her student teacher, Anne Clarke (aka Big Sister Clarke), lauded the lesson as an example of project-based learning, a concept embraced by the school as a way to teach kids through real-world application."

More:

Thanks to the The precession of the Equinoxes the stars are in different alignment as they were when the Zodiac was first created.

I've been shifted into the 13th house Ophiuchus which doesn't have any astrological traits associated with it. And while I no longer believe in Astrology, I do find it humorous that Ophiuchus means "serpent holder". If that's the case shouldn't every man be born into Ophiuchus?

More

I don't know why this was made, but it sure does make me laugh.

Labels: Ahahahahaha

My new double wide workspace. I get to keep the window and spread out
Sweet, sweet natural, Southeast facing ,untinted-windows sunlight.

An impoverished surfer has drawn up a new theory of the universe, seen by some as the Holy Grail of physics, which as received rave reviews from scientists.



More

Labels: Hot Cha Cha Cha Cha

A few weeks ago we had my niece and nephew over for a slumber party. We made cookies, and for the first time in a while I popped a chunk of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough in my mouth. As the rush of pleasure overcame me I thought to myself, then later out loud to Alessandra, "Is cookie dough better than sex?" She told me I was being silly, but I resolved to get to the bottom of it.

As one can imagine, timing an experiment such as this, well...it's tricky, as well as nearly nigh impossible to nail down. But through luck I was recently able to get a completely subjective side-by-side comparison. And here is my result:

No, CCCD is emphatically NOT better than sex. It's easily trumped by passionate kissing.

I also made two more interesting discoveries:

1. Depending on your partner, the introduction of a raw-egg product into the bedroom may very well derail the entire loving making process.

2. While it's generally understood that Led Zepplin rocks fucking hard, while the brain in simmering in a post coital stew, one can believe that the band was channeling sounds and imagery from some primal archetypal mystical plane.



This last is a reminder why and how people tend to believe in some crazy shit. When you're brain isn't in the proper flux, you tend to forget that it's all Brain Chemicals. Keep those chems stewing around it's all too easy to believe in the various spirit realms.

Labels: The Cap'n

Researchers have found that low self-esteem and materialism are not just a correlation, but also a causal relationship where low self esteem increases materialism, and materialism can also create low self-esteem. The also found that as self esteem increases, materialism decreases. The study primarily focused on how this relationship affects children and adolescents. Lan Nguyen Chaplin (University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign) and Deborah Roedder John (University of Minnesota) found that even a simple gesture to raise self-esteem dramatically decreased materialism, which provides a way to cope with insecurity.

I think someone found out that the funeral was going to cost $11,000 and did something about it to try and wrangle out of the bill. It's like bringing a roach to a 5 star restaurant and claiming to find it in the food.

BTW, I've circumvented the Firewall, so no more crappy posts excepting in content.

The one twice the size of Texas?It often sends crap to Hawaii.

For most people, color is basic element of our daily lives that we
use for comfort, inspiration, practicality, etc. According to the
National Institute of Mental Health, phobias and irrational fears
affect approximately 10% of adults. Some of those phobias relate to
colors being the most terrifying thing imaginable… for those poor
people, this color loving website would probably be hell-incarnate.
Here are several color phobias and some of color associations with
common and strange phobias.

As you can see I'm at work by my crappy post. Oddly enough I could
have posted all weekend, but I didn't feel like putting the time into
it. I'm having a hard time coming up with clever content and funny
links. Currently the world doesn't seem all that funny or creative.

Meanwhile back at Rancho Plattnero I'm still working on my drawing.
I've decided to use pin-up girls, and burlesque photos as my models.
Next up...learning proportion so my girls don't look like warped
mutants.

Hand Rape Bruised Balls and other things:

I know what you're thinking you dirty, dirty thing, but that's not
it. On Saturday I played a djembe for the the first time in close to
3 years, for probably less than 20 minutes and I ended up totally
violating my hands. The drum was newly skinned and pulled tight. She
sounded awesome, but now my right hand has 3 blisters, two fat ones
on my finger tips, and one on the balls of my hand. Both balls on
both hands are still throbbing today. The cool part was at after the
long hiatus my hands still know the rhythms which is all fine and
dandy when your hands feel 40 years older than your chronological self.

Hippies and Yoginis:

Guests at this party held by my friend Sky (which I thought was
pretentious when I first met him, only to discover his name is
Schuler), were varied. Sky is a musician, african drummer, massage
therapist with roots in the local yoga community. So you can imagine
that a lot of his friends are older Hippies. Sky's girlfriend is 25
years younger than himself, and also a yogini, many of her friends
are young and cute. So it was a mix of the older Hippie guys trying
to bag a younger Hippy Chick. Everyone was in their finest beads/
totems/fetishes, purple linens and tie dyes.

At one point I thought I lost my wedding in yet another African
Drumming related accident, but I was told by one woman that I didn't
have it on before I started drumming. Does that mean I was being
checked out? I will pretend this is the case even though she was
there with a date.

A top intelligence official says it is time people in the United States changed their definition of privacy.

Privacy no longer can mean anonymity, says Donald Kerr, a deputy director of national intelligence. Instead, it should mean that government and businesses properly safeguards people's private communications and financial information. Kerr's comments come as Congress is taking a second look at the Foreign Surveillance Intelligence Act.

But that's the thing. I don't trust the government to properly safeguard anything. It's been shown repeatedly that government officials can and do use their position as The Watchmen for their own personal gain by stalking individual citizens. It's about laptops with hundreds of thousands of names accidentally left in cars and stolen. It's about hard copy files that are supposed to be destroyed turning up in city dumps. Thousands of people accidentally ending up on No Fly Lists.

Our government is an infosieve, the only thing that gets locked down for good is Dick Cheney.

By changing definitions of privacy, you are changing our definition of Freedom, which in turn is a redefinition of America. And that sir, will not fly.

My company has blocked off Blogger access at the office. Luckily for me though I can just email my posts in.

It's weird, every company I've ever worked for I've had total Admin privileges for everything. I'd say it's a shitty feeling to be behind the firewall, but currently I've found ways around it, primarily by bringing in my laptop everyday. The wireless is not site blocked other than gmail (easily circumvented now that they have IMAP), and Blogger (see gmail). I can use all my chats if I so choose and now I have the comforting presence of my friends and family right next to me.

Speaking of work, did I mention that I think the IT Department hates me? According to my friend Ben who is head of a major university medical school department lab, this is not unusual because IT departments tend to generally hate anyone who isn't in their department. Think about it: It takes a rigid right brain person to be a programmer, systems guy, and I come swinging in with all my left brain reformats and requests that do not fit their working server model. It has to be frustrating on their end, as it is on mine. At Ben's suggestion I did bring them cupcakes after Halloween, but I'm still getting snarky comments in emails: "You should focus on what the link is supposed to look like. Don't let the details of how our LinkManager works, confuse you." Sorry dude, my email was a direct question from my boss. Dick.

How is everyone making the transition to Standard Daylight Time? Me and the cats are still an hour behind, which kind of sucks in the morning waking up at 520 instead of 620.

My tv is my alarm clock and I woke up the other day to a newsroom in a state of story busting laughter. They were kind enough to post the reasons behind the laughter, which surprises me that they are goofy enough to have fun with themselves. Check it out

Cats
I'm not going to bore you with the details, but Jesus Christ! All of our cats may be equal to the financial outlay of a newborn baby. At this moment we are medicating all 3 of them, two of them with a chronic med that may set us back 40 bucks a month each if Pet Insurance doesn't cover it, and two with 2 different meds at the same time, as well as a special food for one.

Eye Candy


Great Pen & Ink inspiration for me to aspire to. Virgil Finlay's pulp illustrations from the 30s-50s. Check it out!

Yeesh! It's taken hours to get this post done.

In one end


Sex toy amnesty recycles first tonne

Sex toy retailer LoveHoney has recycled its first tonne of waste toys following the August launch of its Rabbit Amnesty scheme. The scheme offers customers a discreet take back recycling service with the incentive of a half price Rabbit vibrator from its range.

‘Over loved toys’ are classed as waste electrical and electronic equipment (WEEE), so EU WEEE regulations to reduce this type of waste going to landfill apply. The retailer is working with SWEEEP, a specialist WEEE processor with a facility in Kent, to process the toys.

LoveHoney head buyer Bonny Hall said: 'Although some people might think it's strange to recycle sex toys, rabbit sales are growing every year and we don't want old ones dumped in landfill sites across the country. Rabbit Amnesty will take embarrassment out of the equation and give people the chance to dispose of their rabbits in an environmentally friendly way.
'By sending an old rabbit to LoveHoney, customers not only get the satisfaction of having it recycled – without the inconvenience or embarrassment of taking a used sex toy to a local council rubbish dump – they can also get a brand new vibrator for half price.”

And out the other

As at any other conference, delegates arriving at the 2007 World Toilet Summit in New Delhi are handed a tote bag full of schwag. Unlike any other conference, however, our bags contained two small plastic containers of human waste. Composted human waste, of course. In one, a few powdery ounces of “human excreta-based manure” (2.0% nitrogen, 6.9% phosphorus, 0.4% potassium); in the other, a “hard ball” of composted humanure mixed with adhesive. I don’t know what one does with a “hard ball” of poop, but I do know that it has absolutely no smell.

-Poop Culture | by Dave Praeger | the blog


Poo! Ahahahahahaha, I also love it that vibrators are classed as "WEEE"

Labels: Taboo