No Touch Monkey!

A Video: Leap = Jump



A Dream
Alessandra and I are seeing a reunited Pink Floyd in a small theater. Roger Waters' voice is in youthful form. It is a lean set up. No lasers or inflatable pigs. After the the song they are playing they take requests. For some reason I yell, "SPIDERMAN!" Someone else yells Stairway to Heaven!. Then Roger Waters and David Gilmour are beside me. David doodles his thumb in my sketchbook. He asks me to just pitch it, but I keep it. No one will ever believe it's David Gilmour's thumb as drawn by him. I wake up.

Labels: Things and Stuff

via How Stuff Works

Very cool, but I want to ride the InterTubes and strangle the announcer for her end of the piece comment.

Last night Alessandra and I watched The History of the Joke on the History Channel.

It was great. I had already knew what made good comedy, but it was nice to hear a bunch of comics tell it in their own words. If you have any interest in the what makes funny, you should set your DVRs to record this show.

Today is the 14 anniversary of the death of Bill Hicks.

Go back to bed America. Your Government is in control. Here's American Gladiators. Watch this...shut up. Go back to bed America

Watch this documentary or buy his albums. Find the oddity that occurs with this clip. Report back to me.

Labels: Worth your time

Some amusement parks use fantasy as theme; others go for adventure. And others still, like the Danish amusement park Bon Bon Land, use the crassest visual gags possible. The concept of the park is that a candy maker creates his confections involving animals and objects, and these characters populate the nasty little world.

Check out the video:



via The 9 Most Baffling Theme Parks From Around the World Cracked.com

In a hospital a little girl with a broken collar bone meets a bedridden man who starts telling her a fantastical story which reflects his state of mind. As time goes by fiction and reality start to intertwine in this uplifting epic fantasy.

This sort of reminds of me The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, which I love, and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the book not the movie).

and...AND Charles Darwin is apparently kicking ass and taking names. Starring Ned, The Pie Man (but not as Darwin)

via FilmDrunk.com

Safe For Work: How Gene Simmons' Sex Tape Is The Fairytale Romance Of Our Time

Notice in the picture he's wearing a shirt, which is porn for "hide the belly"

Australian penis artist bids for top art prize - Yahoo! News
SYDNEY (Reuters) - A cheeky artist who uses his penis as a brush has entered a racy self-portrait for Australia's top art prize.

Australian Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso, usually exposes his talents at sex product fairs around the world, but has decided to go upmarket by entering a painting for Australia's Archibald Prize -- the nation's top award for portraiture.

In a unique painting style, Patch does not use paint brushes, but his penis to apply paint to the canvas.

'I had to use my bum to paint in the background, because you have to have the occasional break,' Patch told the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper on Wednesday.

Patch entered a painting of a plastic surgeon in last year's Archibald Prize, but failed to impress the judges. This year's entry depicts a nude Patch, wearing only a hat, holding a blank canvas to hide his 'brush'.

The Art Gallery of New South Wales in Sydney expects up to 700 portraits to be entered for the 2008 Archibald Prize, with the finalists to be announced in March.

I've always thought food stylists worked a cool gig, but this goes raises it to a much higher level of artistry.

Happiness Pie

Labels: silly

That's what Andrew draws, and quite well too! Click image to jump.

Yesterday my boss was out of the office and I had nothing to do. So I myself got to draw for several hours. It was very nice. Today I get to surf and look for decently designed websites for idea theft, inspiration! I meant inspiration.

Labels: Things and Stuff

I had once gotten into a wicked fight with a girlfriend about humans behavior and our desire to constantly alter our brains and perceptions.

I am under the belief that we enjoy the fuck out of rearranging our perceptions.
Children do it all the time. That's what I think meditation is for. As is going on thrill rides which led to a fight about whether or not monks would enjoy riding roller coasters.




I was pro-coaster monk, she was anti.

I can't help but notice the argument memories I still hold inside are the ones I lost even though I knew I was right. 15 years later the proof is in the photograph, so I can finally let this one go.

I discovered a "new way" to really pleasantly mess with your mind just the other night. If you pay attention to how your eyes move when you run your inner monologue Eye Accessing Cues, try and move them the opposite direction. For example I was trying to picture how I drew something and my eyes shifted to my upper right. I deliberately shifted them to the left middle and I experienced what could best be described as a brain freeze, non verbal fragmentation of weird indescribable lightning images. I'm hoping to somehow provoke myself into Synethesia.

Labels: The Cap'n, Whoa, Worth your time

I was convinced the mild illness I've felt for the last few days was going to really hit last night, but it didn't and after a good night sleep I'm at the office today (goofing around until the work trickles in). I could do with some more sleep, but I feel ok.

Click image to enlarge. You must click.

Labels: tattooed chicks

A) Feeling Like Da Vince or B) All the Best Dead Babies Were Taken

Last night I attended the first ever, Body Worlds Artist Night. Of all the cities this show has been held, no one has ever hosted an Artist Night before where they open the doors to artists as well as provide nude artists to pose alongside the plastinated figures.



I felt like Leonardo must have felt when he was studying bought or stolen corpses for anatomical studies.

I personally had compositional issues as I really didn't know how to focus on a good layout. I should have stayed with one figure and just worked with it, but I moved around and tried to get some nude figures too. One of the models was a guy I went to college with 20 years ago who was also a nude model 14 years ago when I was in art school.

After a while I thought I'd do a quick gesture of a dead baby in the dead baby room, but as mentioned in the header, all the best dead babies, with the best lighting in the most dynamic poses were taken.

As it goes though, I only got 4 pictures, but I had a great time even if my drawings were only ok. I'm happy with the progress I'm making.

Labels: The Cap'n

True Story: When Alessandra and I got engaged we registered for all sorts of free wedding prizes at some wedding show. We were offered airfare to Hawaii in exchange for sitting through a sales session. We went in united in strength not to fall for any sales pitched and we walked out with 2 new (skull crushing)super pans, $425 poorer.

Why? Because sales is a science that has been designed to bypass our rational brains and go right to the emotional center.

If you hate sales people as much as I do (not counting retail associates who don't really count unless it's high end), and want to know how it's done, you should read this article.


via Howstuffworks

Not much to report. This weekend we watched Run Ronnie Run starring David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. We thought it was very funny, but oddly enough Cross and Odenkirk disowned the movie due to losing editorial control.

Also watched giving us both outright belly laughs: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I also finished The Thirteen and a Half Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers. I was as enchanted with this as I was with his other book Rumo and his Miraculous Adventures.

Some, but not much drawing was done because I spent most of yesterday fucking around with trying to network our new FrogCam. More as that happens.

Here, watch a video of one of my favorite songs.

Spill the Wine



via Suburban Guerrilla

Today is yet another workless day at the office. They keep promising me things to do, and I believe them, it's just that my boss doesn't have anything yet. My big project of html to PDF brochures was killed by the client do to not having clearances by the the International Olympic Committee to use their names, and logos. Oops!


Cricket Farmer
Who runs Cricket Town? I do. What we didn't realize when we acquired frogs was that they eat live prey. As a result, we have to provide form our green little friends. Rather than run to the pet store every couple of days to pick up some food I now have a little cricket farm going. I have to feed and maintain the crickets to stop them from killing each other, as they are most voracious and cannibalistic.

Labels: Things and Stuff

Since I'm married to a Brasileira, have been to Carnival in Rio & Sao Paul, and brought back lots of video and magazines; a lot of people ask me: "Is Carnival like our Mardi Gras?" My answer to that is usually: "Yes, they are both Pre-Lentin festivals that celebrate debauchery. There is music, and parades, but it is a matter of scale. In the US only a relative handful of people celebrate Mardi Gras, in Brazil it's an entire country. I laugh hysterically when people claim that St. Louis has the Second Largest Mardi Gras celebration after NO. I know it's rude, but somehow in comparison, this little party we have in the Sticks is a source of local pride.

This is a clip from the Viradouro Samba School in Rio 2008.

The school's theme is "Things ... all » that give you goosebumps." The theme is then broken down into sub themes, in this instance: Sex, Execution, and Horror. All done to Samba Beat

You should play "Name that cultural reference."

Note: The White float with the gagged people sitting on it was supposed to be a pile of dead bodies representing the Holocaust, but it was pulled due to public outrage.

The float now reads, "You can't build a future if you bury the past." I don't know who that guy is on the float, but it's not Jesus.

What is not included in this video are the floats with the giant ski slope and real snow skiers, A giant bloody, new born baby float dangling from human hands, wriggling and opening it's eyes Women wearing igloo dresses, hundreds of penguins, an army of Mr. Freezes zapping people with their cold rays, henchmen bashing the ice scupltures, sections of people wearing hand costumes, lips costumes and tongue costumes, and one big ass Edward Scissorhands float followed by a group of Edward Costumes. You know, things that give you goosebumps.

Here is what you need to know about Carnival.

There are 12 teams, each team has a theme, a drum group, 4 floats or so, 4000+ members a theme song and 90 minutes to get their team down the special Sambadrome Avenue and across the finish line. Points are scored and removed for everything, dances, costumes, harmony, time...the works.

The team beings work on next years theme a few days after Carnival. The team members pay for their own costumes.

Labels: Whoa

For cool photos, click here

Is there an easier, squishy, smelly, adorable, "Thank God They're Not Mine," target than babies? Retards? Yeah, but that's just not nice.

Click Pic for more funny.

Labels: Worth your time

Luckily the Drums and the Half Naked Women are there to fight it off.



Video of Rio to Follow Shortly.

I have no idea which one to use:

A. Letter U, Number 2, Number 3, Letter D

B. Almost Better Than The Real Thing

C. Super-Bah!

D. Man Crush Gay For Bono

Eschewing the Super Bowl® for something, I don't know...more worth while so we went to see U2 3D at the IMAX. It was Totally Awesome!


Two years ago we got wildly fucked by Ticketmaster and 7 minutes after tickets went on sale 9 months advance of the U2 show we ended up as far away from the band horizontally as humanly possible.

Sure we enjoyed the show, but there was that element of being so far away that kind of bugged me.

But U23D puts you front row and on stage with the band...in 3d! Oh man it killed! The only thing that would have made it better is if the theater was packed and we were all dancing. That would have pushed it over the top and made it better than the real thing. Still though, it was a stellar simulacrum with a great setlist.

As far as man crush gay goes, I think I'd only make out with Bono. As great, and charismatic as Paul Hewson is, I don't swing that way even though he makes me tingly.

Labels: Coexist

Tattooed Burlesque Dancer

NSFW if you can't see a woman skimpy lingerie


Click photo to enlarge

Labels: Hot Cha Cha Cha Cha, Vavavoom

Witness the Power of Technology!
Last night we watched LOST, while a friend of ours in New Mexico used the Slingbox to watch it with us. Then we had a brief chat via Skype after that.

Work
After digging out the cars, shoveling the walk and stuff, I made the 30 mile drive to the office to only to discover that my coworker who lives 2 miles away, can't make it out of her parking lot.

Hooray! The office is springing for a pizza lunch today! Oh Crap, it's Papa Johns.

I'm too lazy to do a search to see if I mentioned this before, but nearly everyone in my office is obese...and (I know this is a first mention). I work on the second floor, which is poorly insulated and always cold, but on the first floor where ventilation is poor, the office stinks of B.O. and old food. Because they are always having Pot Luck Lunches, and shit (3 in the space of a week), it reeks of cafeteria. It's really quite gross.